Talent vs. Technical Proficientcy

Everyday, I go into work as an Air Force graphic designer. As opposed to the outside world, there is no competition amongst military designers, because we are going to be paid regardless of how well or bad we do our work. We will not be fired for mediocrity. This causes the military graphic designer to become disenfranchised, and settle for okay work, because stellar work does not matter.

I think I've fallen into a rut.

Looking at my future, what I will do when my enlistment is done in 2009, I wonder about my level of skill and if I'm actually as good as I think I am. And I've come to the realization that I have settled for being a good designer (following basis rules, such as balance, color, and contrast) with a killer knowledge of Photoshop and Illustrator. Any passion I had for art I've let lay dormant for the past couple years. I haven't touched a sketchbook for who know's how long. I get very intimidated by other designers ( www.kenedik.com, a friend from Florida who works for Relevant magazine and recently did a shirt for Burton snowboards ) very easily, not because of the finished piece, but knowing the passion and wreckless abandon they use to get to the finished piece. I can talk all day about new technologies, but not actually care to apply them.

In a world where professional level cameras and computer programs have become accessable to everyday hobbiests, talent is going to be the only thing that will get a designer work. How many weddings have you been to lately where someones Aunt with a digicam did the photos for free? Look in the QCTimes or NWFDailyNews and you'll see many graphics that are poorly laid out with drop shadows applied (first day Photoshop stuff). Go to YouTube.com and you'll see any schmo with a video camera can make a short movie.

But, it doesn't mean that is what people want to look at. With all the content available online, we are still drawn to things like Garden State, Arrested Development, Wired Magazine, and Time coffee table books. Stuff that is thought out, done with talent, and passion.

My question to myself is, do I still have the passion for art, or do I even want it? Does my technical proficientcy with programs, video, and photo mean anything more than just being an "art engineer"?

It looks like I'll need to pick up my sketch book and find out.